FAQs (Facetiously Answered Questions)
The questioner is an imaginary entity residing only on the server's hard-drive; Gino is also an imaginary entity, residing in the imagination's software.
Q: Where did you grow up?
A: In the high mountains of Central Kansas.
Q: There are no mountains in Central Kansas or any other part of the state.
A: Are you sure?
Q: You're supposed to answer questions, not ask them.
A: You're supposed to ask questions, not answer them.
Q: Are you really an imaginary entity?
A: Aren't you? Isn't everyone?
Q: I imagine so. Where do you plan to spend Eternity?
A: I already have—in Rolla, Missouri.
Q: What is your favorite movie?
A: I haven't seen it yet, but I plan to keep looking.
Q: Does your poetry have a meaning?
A: Of course.
Q: Well, what does it mean?
A: What it says.
Q: Which is . . . ?
A: What it means.
Q: Do you agree with MacLeish that a poem "should not mean but be"?
A: I don't understand that.
Q: Why did you set up this web site?
A: The ISP gave me memory, and I hate to waste memory. Use it or lose it, eh?
Q: Do you have a favorite poem, one you return to time after time?
A: Yes. It's R. H. Blyth's translation of a Japanese senryu. It goes
there's nothing funny about it
when you live alone
although I do laugh at my own farts. My favorite is either that senryu or The Mahabharata.
Q: What's that?
A: An Indian epic full of gods, heroes, demons, wise men, beautiful women, villains, riddles, sex, arguments, battles, salvation, and damnation. pretty much the story of the world.
Q: I think you're pulling my leg.
A: No question there.
Q: Where do you get your ideas?
A: I buy them in bulk. Unfortunately, a large percentage of them are faulty.
Q: What is the purpose of poetry?
A: In my backyard, there's a dolomite block, about 1 ft. by 1 ft. by 3 ft. What is its purpose?
Q: How would I know?
A: There you go.
Q: Where?
A: Don't be silly. ask me questions with nontrivial answers.
Q: Okay. Who's the ugliest woman you ever kissed?
A: Your Mamma. geez, these questions are like playing tennis with a duck. But don't mind me—I'm just quarky.
Q: Do you play tennis?
A: No.
Q: Do you have a favorite sport?
A: Yeah. Marriage. going into overtime on this one.
Q: What do you take seriously?
A: Food, sleep, and sex. Not necessarily in that order.
Q: Well, in what order then?
A: Well . . . probably, sex, food, sex, sleep, sex, food, sex, . . . .
Q: at least you're honest.
A: Think so?